i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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