Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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