I never want to see another naked old woman again.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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