Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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