Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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