I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
