He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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