I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She bit a glass in half.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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