Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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