anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Randomize
