I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
