All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
