so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
