I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I need a beard to bite.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
