whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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