I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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