So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
