Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
