Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
