anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
