I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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