I have demons in me.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
