Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
