do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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