I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
