We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
