I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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