I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
