If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
