You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
