Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
