I think my fart just growled at me.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
