When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
