Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
