Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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