the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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