You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
