Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
