how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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