please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
