God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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