I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
