I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
