I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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