he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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