Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm like, not good at living.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
