I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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