I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
