We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
