I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
