so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
